While asking my community what their biggest fears were when it came to traveling, the answers that came up over and over again were meltdowns, eloping, and flying. And honestly? I felt every single one of those deep in my soul. Even now, after Tristan has flown many, many times and things feel so much easier than they once did, those memories still take me right back.
The very first time I flew with Tristan was in May of 2013. He was only 2 years old, almost 3, and I was carrying an overwhelming amount of anxiety leading up to that flight. At the same time, we were preparing to move across the country from California to North Carolina because Chris had received orders to Camp Lejeune. We were leaving behind our family, our comfort zone, and everything we had ever known.
When I think back to that season of life, I can still feel the weight of those emotions so vividly. It honestly still makes me teary-eyed. At that point, Tristan had not officially been diagnosed yet, but deep down, I knew. I remember trying to explain to my mom and grandma that something felt different, even if I couldn’t fully put it into words yet.
Because we didn’t have a diagnosis at the time, I also didn’t know about any of the resources, accommodations, or supports that could have helped make traveling feel less overwhelming for all of us. We were navigating it completely blind, doing the best we could with the information we had in that moment.
At that point, all I really knew was that Tristan was completely obsessed with his iPad. He would do just about anything for screen time, so in my mind, that was going to be my saving grace for the entire flight 😂 My whole game plan was basically: iPad, favorite snacks, and a few coloring activities. That was it.
I didn’t know about any of the resources or accommodations that I know about now, and honestly, I wish I had. It would have taken so much pressure and anxiety off of all of us.
You’re probably wondering how he did on the flight. Truthfully? It went okay. Not perfect, but okay. Takeoff and landing were definitely the hardest parts for him, and there were stressful moments, but we got through it.
Since then, Tristan has flown many, many times with very minimal obstacles. Maybe introducing him to flying at such a young age helped, maybe it didn’t, who really knows. But what I do know for sure is that if I had known about some of the accommodations and resources I’m about to share below, things would have gone a whole lot smoother for all of us.
It’s Cool to fly American Airlines
One resource that I REALLY wish I had known about back then is American Airlines’ “It’s Cool to Fly American” program.
This incredible experience was created to help children on the autism spectrum, and their families, become more comfortable and familiar with the air travel process before an actual travel day. It helps create more inclusion, understanding, and confidence surrounding flying, which can feel incredibly overwhelming for so many families.
The program is essentially a mock travel experience where families get to practice almost every step of flying without ever actually taking off. Families are able to park, check in, go through the airport process, wait at the gate, board the aircraft, experience taxiing, return to the gate, and even retrieve luggage afterward. The entire experience lasts around 3 ½ hours and gives children the opportunity to become familiar with the sights, sounds, and routines of air travel in a much lower-pressure environment.
Programs like this can make such a huge difference because so much of the anxiety surrounding travel comes from fear of the unknown.
This program is only offered at participating locations, so I highly recommend checking with your local airport to see if they offer the “It’s Cool to Fly American” experience near you.
The Arc/Wings for All
Another incredible resource for families is the “Wings for All” program hosted by The Arc.
Similar to mock flight programs, Wings for All helps individuals with Autism and other special needs, along with their families, practice what the air travel experience may look and feel like before an actual travel day. Families are able to move through different parts of the airport process while learning how their loved one may respond to the various sights, sounds, crowds, announcements, and overall stimulation that comes with flying.
What I really love about this program is that it doesn’t just support families, it also helps airports, airlines, TSA agents, and airport personnel better understand and support travelers with disabilities as well. It creates a structured learning environment where staff members are able to observe, interact, and improve the way they accommodate and assist ALL passengers traveling through the airport.
Programs like this matter so much because confidence and preparation can completely change a family’s travel experience.
JSX is The World’s First Autism-Certified Air Carrier
JSX is an affordable jet service that is continuously expanding across the country. They are the world’s first autism certified air carrier by Autism Double-Checked, which is an organization that reviews travel companies, hotels and destinations for autism readiness.
JSX developed autism awareness training and protocols along side with Autism Double-Checked. Some of their methods for training include staff to assist passengers with autism, including courses, as well as providing quiet rooms and additional boarding options like early boarding to make the travel process easier.
Just like “It’s Cool to fly American” & “Wings for All”, JSX partners with certain Autism programs to offer mock-boarding events for families to experience the process for themselves before they even book a flight.
Accommodations from TSA & your airline
I tell my clients this all the time, PLEASE take advantage of the resources available to you before travel day.
One of my biggest recommendations is printing a TSA notification card and contacting both your airline and TSA Cares at least 72 hours before your flight to let them know you’ll be traveling with someone with special needs. A little preparation ahead of time can make such a huge difference.
One accommodation many airlines offer is pre-boarding for individuals with autism or other disabilities. This allows families to board the aircraft in a calmer, more controlled environment before the plane fills up with passengers. It gives everyone a little extra time to settle in and get comfortable before the hustle and bustle begins. (This can vary by airline and is always subject to change.)
Another amazing resource is TSA Cares. When you notify them ahead of travel, you can request assistance from a Passenger Support Specialist who can help guide your family through the airport and security process. They can assist with security screenings, help explain directions and procedures, and provide extra support during what can otherwise feel like a very overwhelming process.
And lastly, if you travel even semi-often, I HIGHLY recommend looking into TSA PreCheck. It truly makes the security process so much smoother. With TSA PreCheck, you typically won’t need to remove shoes, laptops, belts, light jackets, or your 3-1-1 liquids, which can significantly reduce stress, transitions, and sensory overload during security screening.
Hidden Disability Sunflower Lanyard
Another travel tool that has personally helped our family is the Hidden Disabilities Sunflower lanyard.
The Hidden Disabilities Sunflower is a globally recognized program designed to help identify individuals who may need a little extra patience, understanding, or support due to a non-visible disability or condition. The bright green lanyard with yellow sunflowers signals to staff that the wearer may need additional assistance, more time, clearer communication, or a little extra compassion while navigating public spaces.
It’s simply a gentle, non-verbal way to communicate that someone may have an invisible disability or additional needs that others may not immediately recognize.
We personally use Tristan’s while traveling through airports, resorts, and theme parks because sometimes having that quiet layer of understanding can make all the difference during overwhelming moments.
The Hidden Disabilities Sunflower program is becoming more and more common in airports around the country, and many airports now offer complimentary sunflower lanyards through guest services or information desks. I definitely recommend checking with your local airport before travel to see if they participate. If not, you can also order one online.
The more we share resources like this, the more awareness and understanding we create for families like ours, and honestly, that matters so much.
Autism to new heights
I truly hope some of this information helps bring a little more peace of mind before your travels.
Please know that your fears surrounding traveling with your special needs child are completely valid. You are not alone in those feelings. So many parents I’ve spoken with over the years share the exact same worries, fears, and “what ifs.”
Traveling may look a little different for our families, and sometimes it requires extra planning, preparation, and flexibility, but that does not mean your family doesn’t deserve to experience the joy of exploring the world together.
My hope is that by sharing these resources, accommodations, and real-life experiences, families feel a little more prepared, a little more supported, and a little more confident stepping outside of their comfort zone.
And remember, you do not have to figure it all out alone. I’m always here if you have questions, need guidance, and are ready to start planning your next adventure.
