8 strategies we use for traveling with our autistic son

Recently on my Instagram, I decided to ask my community what their fears were when they were traveling with their special needs children. I knew I would get a few responses but I was blown away by the amount of people that ended up responding. The number 1 thing I realized while reading their responses was that we had a lot of the same fears. Some fears I had when Tristan was little and some are fears I still have to this day with him.

Most of the fears that my community shared were meltdowns, panicking over sounds & crowds, feedings, people being rude when they do not understand (or lets be real-don’t care to understand), anxiety of being out of routine, and getting lost.

Those were all fears I have had or still have sometimes too. Even though the circumstances were rough, it was nice knowing that I was not alone in those thoughts and fears. Now, Tristan loves to travel! But it took us awhile to get there. We had to jump through some hoops and learn what worked for him and what didn’t. If I am being honest, we are still learning. Everyday. That is life on the spectrum. I literally sit down and make a list of things that might trigger a meltdown and what I thought I could do to help. What has helped in the past and what could I try new. And then there is a list of things that didn’t help because not everything is practically perfect and pixie dust over here.

When Tristan became older, I started asking him what makes him nervous and what he thought would help him. I was not sure what to expect. Honestly, I think I was hesitant to talk to him about it because I was nervous he would start talking and then the triggers would come and make him anxious. However, I was so shocked that he was able to recall so many things and talk about what he thinks would help him.

So I decided to sit down and write everything out. I kept that list close and it comes in handy daily, not just when we are traveling. So I thought I would share my list with you in the hopes that it might help someone out there that is fearful of the same things we are. The best part? Tristan is right here next to me, helping write this blog. Since this is about what worked for him, I wanted his permission and I wanted his input.

With all of that being said, this is what works for us. That doesn’t mean it will work for you however, I know that it takes a village to raise our little loves on the spectrum and the Autism Mama village is strong. We learn from each other and I just want to help those that think this might help them too.

Frontloading

Frontloading is a term that I learned pretty early on before Tristan even got his diagnosis of Autism. His speech pathologist would tell me that she would “frontload” him at the beginning of the session to set expectations. I thought it was genius and it is something we use every single day with Tristan. How can frontloading help?

“For parents of children with developmental disabilities, front loading can get you the most bang for your buck, so to speak. Spending just 10 minutes per day front loading can prevent those 10- or 30-minute tantrums that derail the day.”

MeBe Psychology

Unexpected change can be difficult for children let alone children on the spectrum. Some may struggle to communicate, become anxious, and act with meltdowns and even frustrated aggression. Front loading, or preparing your kiddo for changes ahead of time, is a quick way to make even busy days feel more structured and predictable. Like I said this is something we do with Tristan daily, not just for travel! When we frontload Tristan we tell him 2 things:

1. What’s going to happen/change
2. What we expect of him

This helps set the expectation for the day. This is an example of a conversation I might have with Tristan.

“Good morning buddy, lets talk about what we have planned for today. Dad has to pick up his registration packet for his paintball tournament and we are going to go with him. After we pick it up, we might go to Universal Studios for a few hours. We can go on some rides and even get something to eat. You have about 1 hour to do what you want, but when my timer goes off, I need you to get dressed, brush your teeth, and put on deodorant. Then we will get ready to leave.”

It is so simple and so easy. With that little talk, Tristan has expectations for the day and then we just hope and pray we don’t have any surprises haha With that talk, sometimes I might bring out a visual and that’s where the next tip comes in.

Visual Guides

This is huge in our household! Children with special needs often respond better to visual supports rather than auditory. So I have made guides for Tristan in the past and now that he is older, he loves using maps. I even have a morning routine guide for him before school. A simple checklist of what he should be doing when he wakes, next, and then what comes next. Visual guides are amazing because it can be a second form of “front-loading” or “pre-teaching”. Tristan is still sitting here and he wanted me to tell you that when we enter a theme park, he likes to grab a map and keep it with him for the day.

I am so excited to say that I have created visual guides for my clients traveling to Walt Disney World in 2023. My Disneyland visual guides will be here soon. Truly the guides make such a big difference and it allows your child to also pick what is coming next. So they can feel apart of the planning, which leads me on to my next tip.

Let your child be apart of the planning process

Tristan has said numerous times that he loves being apart of the planning process. When I asked him why, he said that it was because he felt like he was a little bit in control. And that made total sense to me. If he is in control (some of the time haha) then he knows exactly what to expect, he looks forward to it, and there are no surprises.

When we go to a theme park, we each pick a ride we want to go on and the order we will try to accomplish them. That way Tristan can pick something he wants to do, when we do it, and he is expecting what my husband, Ethan, and I are choosing to ride as well.

YouTube Videos

This is another huge resource that we use for Tristan. A lot of the time he will research rides and activities before we even tell him too. As soon as he hears that we are going somewhere new, he will start researching on YouTube Kids.

Tristan gets a lot of anxiety when he is in line for a ride that he has never been on. So much so to where he starts shaking, breathing heavily, and sometimes there is no talking him down that I have to exit the ride with him. Obviously he is scared of the unknown. I mean lets be real, who isn’t?

Another source of a visual guide is watching youtube videos for Tristan. He will research certain “rides with the lights on” so he can be prepared for any drops, turns, or surprises. I truly do not think of it as ruining the ride or experience for him. If anything, it maximizes his experience because he is prepared for what happens next. I want him to feel confident experiencing new things and if youtube does the trick for him then I am all for it.

Research quiet resting spots near your location

Sensory processing is a huge component of your child’s needs when planning your trip. If you are traveling to a theme park or a very busy area then I would highly recommend researching quiet spots to take your child if they are feeling overwhelmed, overstimulated, or quite simply just needing a break.

I have created a full guide for quiet resting spots at Walt Disney World as well as The Disneyland Resort for my clients. So I took all of the research and guess work out of it for you. However, wherever you are traveling, it is best to know where you can go should you need it. Disney especially has an overload of sounds, sights, smells, movements and overall, overstimulation. Plan ahead for prevention. Having a list or my guide of quiet resting spots is going to help you know what to do and where to go if it does happen.

Fidgets

I mean who doesn’t love fidgets right? We often use fidgets while we are waiting in line for something. It often keeps Tristan’s attention on the fidget and not what is going on around him. I am going to be honest though, my husband and I are known to play with these fidgets while waiting for things too. It truly is so calming and it gives us something extra to do.

Below are a few of our favorite fidgets. The fashion fidgets are becoming more and more popular and I utilize them in class with the little girl that I work one on one with at school.

I do receive a small commission from Amazon if you purchase through my links*

Use a Gizmo or Identification bracelet

Another fear that a lot of parents and myself shared was the fear of their child getting lost and not being able to verbally communicate to the proper authorities. That is why I think it is super important to use a tracking device of some sort or to use an identification bracelet.

Tristan personally uses a Gizmo watch. We are able to exchange texts and phone calls but what I love most is that I can track his location as well. Sometimes Tristan does not want to go on a ride that we all want to go on, so he will simply wait at the exit for us. He has asked us for this responsibility so we have been allowing him to try. Having the Gizmo puts me at ease.

But what if your child is not able to verbally communicate? Well at one point, Tristan could not either. It wasn’t until he was in first grade did he really start putting words together. So we would use an identification bracelet for him.

I have found many cute identification bracelets or necklaces on Etsy. I found that if it is one of Tristan’s favorite characters or there was dinosaurs on it, then he was more than likely to keep it on. Just make sure you do your research on a bracelet they cannot take off. That was also another one of my fears when Tristan was younger.

*BONUS: If you are traveling to Disney World or Disneyland, I highly recommend utilizing a Magic Band. Magic Bands are linked to your My Disney Experience app which contains all of your information. Therefore, if your child were to get lost, a cast member could simply scan their magic band and the lead guest would pop up. Giving the cast member a name, reservation information, as well as a phone number.

Bring something from home

There is nothing more comforting than bringing a familiar item on your trip with you. For Tristan, he always brings a “teddy” with him. He absolutely loves teddies. So bringing one of his favorites on a trip is so comforting for him. I highly recommend this! Don’t underestimate the power of a favorite stuffed animal, blanket, or whatever comforting item your child prefers.

Traveling on the spectrum

For some families, traveling may be easy and for others it is a big ball of anxiety of the unknowns and how we are going to handle them. Me and my family are somewhere in the middle. Tristan does have a love of travel and he has some pretty big bucket list items like Africa, Disneyland Paris, and Australia. As long as we keep moving forward and figuring out ways to help him, I think it is possible to travel that far.

You know your child best and if they are ready or not. I hope this blog was helpful and gave you some extra insight. This works for my guy but that doesn’t necessarily mean all of it will work for you. But I love being able to share my trials and errors with you in case you want to try it too!

If you have tried any of this or have any other ideas, drop them in the comments below. I am a firm believer that if you are the smartest person in the room then you are in the wrong room. I am constantly learning from other mamas and sharing ideas. So let’s do this together!